Friday, October 9, 2009

I Deserve a Prize

Dear Mr Nobel and Co.

Thank you so much for giving my friend Mr Obama a Peace Prize. One of the reasons I would have voted for Mr Obama, had I been allowed to vote in the American elections, is that he sure looked like a peaceful kinda guy. Anyhow, well done.

Now I'd like to apply for one of your prizes too. I'm mainly interested in a Peace Prize as I'm not very good at mathematics or science. I am quite good at writing (and spelling), so I'll let you decide on that one. My heart though, is definitely set on a Peace Prize, and here's why I deserve one:

I don't shout at anyone anymore. I have retired from that game. Neither do I get into fights. I was always getting knocked out and to be honest, I'm now just too fat and old. I am still feisty and I still get into arguments, but that's because I like to pit my wits (such as they are) against others. Also because I'm always right (not that I'm boasting, its a burden I have to live with).

The reason I am so desperate to get a Peace Prize is that just like Mr Obama, I, one day in the future, plan to be REALLY peaceful. Yep, I'm going to lock myself in a white painted room with nothing to distract me or annoy me. I am going to think peaceful thoughts and and not even argue with myself. I know that sounds difficult but it isn't. You see, to argue with myself means I have to provoke myself - and if I'm being peaceful, I can't do that. Win-win!

Regarding dates, well, I'll let you decide that - although the sooner I get my Peace Prize, the sooner I can get on with carrying out my intentions.

Kind regards and expectant thanks


PS Do you do bank transfers or cheque for the prize money? Only I prefer a transfer because cheques still take a while to clear.

PPS Do I get a trophy too? It would look good next to my 2nd place (veterans) Enduro trophy that I won in 1999. I also won a (dead, plucked) chicken and a bottle of Zimbabwean wine (Mukuyu Cabernet) at that enduro and saw a dead python on the way home.

PPPS Do I get to attend a glitzy awards ceremony with a red carpet and all? I want to get papparazzied and go in a posh magazine like OK or Hello.

Copyright © 2009 Paul R Davey. All photographs, text and artworks in this portfolio are copyrighted and owned by the artist, Paul R Davey unless otherwise stated. Any reproduction, modification, publication, transmission, transfer, or exploitation of any of the content, for personal or commercial use, whether in whole or in part, without written permission from the artist is strictly prohibited. All rights reserved.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Mr Nobel,
    As deserving as Mr Paul Davey might feel he is, I feel it is my duty to share some information about him that may sway your decision towards perhaps an even more peaceful person. Paul does indeed argue with himself as evidenced in Facebook newsfeeds of some weeks ago. I have been witness to some disturbingly threatening behaviour that he directed toward himself. Just take a look at his profile picture; he is in discussion with himself over some weighty topic and you know as well as I do that "discussion" can quickly turn to heated debate and before you know it, descend into violent confrontation. Truthfully I think there are way more peacful candidates out there. Me for one. Just yesterday someone did a U-turn right in front of me and I didn't even tell him to fuck off and die. I'm sorry I had to bring these things up, but perhaps you can consider Mr PD for another kind of prize instead. He's very VERY good about eating fruit salad, I know that. Do you have an award for something like that?